Friday, October 31, 2003
[glad..but.hurt]
im like over the moon after she told me the news.. i love you=) thankew God.. yeah...=) but.. donno whether its REALLY the truth. maebe its just trying to make me happy..sigh..anw.. i want to be there for her.. can feel the pain. sighz.. hey.. cheer up k..(: i'll be here always(:
there are many loopholes around here; 10/31/2003 11:29:00 PM
[dont.want.to.let.you.go]
it seemed like i only know you yesterday
and now youre gone.
dont know what to do or say.
miss you like crazy.
the last time we met was at 12+, today.
and now it seemed like youre gone forever.
i dont want you to go. but i cant do anything.
i can only wait for that miracle...
for my wish to come true that you will stay.
life is meaningless without you.
you taught me stuff i never know.
stuff like love.
and now, its let go.
i know i cant stop what its meant to be.
but still....i'll pray day and night.
just to make you stay..
cause i love you.
cant bear to see you leave. cant at all..
i wont do anything to harm myself.
for your sake i'll do anything.
but not let go.
tried to let go lots of times.
i failed to do so. sorry
guess im back to being quiet.
back to walking around in school alone
back to someone who needs to be hugged and loved badly.
i wont promise that i wont cry.
cause i know once i thought of you...
tears seemed to roll down by themselves.
didnt treasure the times after you break the news to me.
tought you were just joking.
guess i took things to lightly..
i regret.
now i know why i live....
i live to regret.
to make people happy..
to hurt people i dont want to hurt.
to be alone.
but i dont want to be alone.
being alone is like ending ur life as soon as possible.
cause no one cared.
and this is how i feel.
now
take care.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/31/2003 05:23:00 PM
[dont.leave.me]
today..erm..was walking up to class like some dead person. eyes was like gold fish.. cried too much le. cant seem to cry todae.. erm.. thought i saw somebody which looked like lee when i walked up. but didnt see her when i walked passed her class..tot she didnt come felt upset.saw her when i was in the hall.. started crying like shit during oratorical. wasnt obvious at all.. but still ya.. i cried.. in class.. packed my locker. judy bringing home my file and english textbook(= then after school..went to mobil with krys.then walked around school. started crying abit after seeing her. went to find her. wanted to tell her someting. cant seemed to remember what to say when i see her. sigh.. went town after dat.. acted happy.. but.. not.. just trying to make her happy before she go.guess i failed. hurt inside.. been hiding.. acted lame and all.. tried laughing and all.. broke down in the bus on my way home. anw.. went to taka mos burger then to heeren. to ps to cine then to heeren. pam wanted to eat crepes so badly but she wouldnt get her butt in. i mean.. totally not attrating attention what.. we kept laughing and all.. totally maluated ourselves /=..yup.. then me and krys left.. went to taka then home at 415.. ya.. dont want to go for some paranakan dinner and dance thingy. decided to go lyanne's hse instead but dad wouldnt allow.. say that since i dowan to go for dinner. i should just stay at home WITHOUT dinner. i mean.. im fine with it what.. got problem ar.. sigh..
there are many loopholes around here; 10/31/2003 05:22:00 PM
Thursday, October 30, 2003
[im sorry]
erm.. i dont have anymore pk unless i buy. i will swear if u want me to. didnt answer you when you called me cos i wanted to be alone for a while. cant bear to live her. dont want to see her teary eyes. cos i think she is crying. and it turns out to be me crying. sigh.. im really very sorry.. cant get over it. my heart is still broken.. still torn intoa million pieces. the world is just unfair. sorry. all i want is a hug to tell me that im safe. not lost anymore. sighz. nvm. u nv cared.
[will never say goodbye.will never stop crying till there is a miracle. i love you]
todae. at labrador park. well.. nvm. but ya.. "so near yet so far" thats like the only thing i can say. broke your heart again and again. im sorry.. really sorry.. didnt want to answer you cos i dont think im even fit to do anything. wanted to be alone anywaez.. was blardie depressed. thats all. you cheer up k.. sigh.. im sorry.. just cant except the fact. till you break another news to me. sorry. i want s hug befdore you leave. maebe the last maebe not. it like the end of the world. have seriously lots of things to say. but cant seem to sort it out. cant express it thats all.. im really sorry..
there are many loopholes around here; 10/30/2003 08:16:00 PM
erm. todae. boring. depressed. mood-swing. ya. from bad to worse. walked arnd during treasure hunt started singing crap. after that walked arnd. then picked up this flower. not alot of hair what. then started plucking em 1 by 1. let go or not. erm. breeze there damn nice. stayed back for crap. 13 panadols altogether. sickening. sighz.. waited for 2 mrts to pass.. took e 3rd 1.. missed e 156 bus. came back bout 15 mins ago. i know i very bang. nvm. sighz. got lectured by big sis on the phone for not getting my other sis to study.. i mean totally my fault what. she seriously dowan to listen to my explanation at all. sighz i screwed my own life
there are many loopholes around here; 10/30/2003 08:11:00 PM
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
today. went to skl early. 715 i think. cos mdm yap wants to see my mom. dad came along. hell started. they didnt let me eat breakfast. so fine lor.went town arnd 10. walked arnd till 12. went to meet suhong. took neos. walked to heeren. bought food for max. but she went missing. threw e food away. went for trng. quite bang though its tiring and serious. but quite funny though. ya. erm. FT said lots of thing to my parents. quite ok la. but the point when i dad argued bout e cca. she started comparing. i mean like..SIGH my fault.. ok whatever.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/29/2003 09:52:00 PM
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
edited
there are many loopholes around here; 10/28/2003 11:17:00 PM
todae.. sigh.. i donno.. hurt so many people.. cried so many times.. i have never come to such a feeling till i desperatly need to cry in front of people.. never in my whole life.. sigh.. hate it man.. seriously have no mood now.. i permanently have no appetite lor please. sigh.. braces is yellow and transparent.. cos doc dont have orange and pink le.. and the purple not nice at all.. so ya.. my mouth hurts like hell.. so tight k.. sigh..
there are many loopholes around here; 10/28/2003 10:14:00 PM
hey.. i know who i am k. i know i suck and all.. but idont give a damn. and u know what. im under depression. so if ure just not happy. then its non of my business. cos i dont give a damn k.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/28/2003 10:03:00 PM
Monday, October 27, 2003
my love is dead. im dead too guess i'm gonna be alone after all. thats what im born for. to be alone. dont blame me. no! blame me. push all ur faults to me. just want to be alone. forever
there are many loopholes around here; 10/27/2003 06:14:00 PM
some lame there are many loopholes around here; 10/27/2003 05:27:00 PM
sigh.. i feel fcukingly bad.dont know what im thinking.. hurts me so much.. well.. this is life.. what can i do? sigh.. anw.. almost 1 hr of boring assembly. then geog at avt. pe was crap. recess was walking arnd time. art tie dye. cme was fire drill.. maths was maths.. boring or what. after school.. found out that there was no netball. fcuk! when i feel like going.. there isnt trng.. sighz.. nvm.. purple or pink wire? sigh.. nvm. went home at 2 something.. reached home at 3 something.. took me about an hour instead of 1/2 hr. why? cos the fcuking bus driver wouldnt stop the blardie bus to let me alight. fun what.. so started walking home from e going to be my stop in a yr or 2 bus stop. er.. opposite corronation. die.. my spelling.. cham or what. anw.. started screaming my way home.. walked slower and slower.. thought of the bad things ive done todae.. started crying took the long way home. cried even more. sat at e swing then went home. watched some lame show. took dinner at arnd 4? ya.. then now.. online|: yup.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/27/2003 05:23:00 PM
Saturday, October 25, 2003
lalalalla.. bored bored.. hmm.. todae.. went to e dentist at 10=) tot i was late.. but e dentist is late=) lalala.. he only did e front.. cos he sae something like e back never expand enough. go to him nxt week to do e back=|.. sigh.. so todae can eat anything=) lalala.. but nxt week =}. after he do e wire thingy and e back.. i cannot eat le!! ahhhh.. nvm.. at least i have something to motivate myself.. lallala..=) yay!..-jumps- lala.. let me see went arnd singapore to find coupons={.. lalala.. from ps to cathay to heeren to taka to heeren. then ate at marchie*forgot how to spell le*=D.. then to taka for piano.. then to heeren.. to cathay.. to ps cos sis wants to go to e arcade.. lalala.. im so nice=).. then to wisma.. to taka 4 piano.. but teacher sae dowan to teach cos i was late =) 5 mins only leh..to wisma to meet mum cos she buying bracelet at soo kee*again!*.. then to centre point..to ps.. to suntec..then to esplanade.. donno why.. haha.. then ate at city link e thai express=) nicenice. hmm.. then went to raffles city to meet dad.. then came back=) lalala.. not tiring at all leh.. lalallala.....
there are many loopholes around here; 10/25/2003 09:20:00 PM
Friday, October 24, 2003
There is a love down in my soul.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/24/2003 11:46:00 PM
com was screwed. 1 of e thursdae & fridae entries were deleted. so here it is.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/24/2003 05:48:00 PM
Thursday, October 23, 2003
ahh.. i hope its not a joke.. everybody is going away.=| sighz.. well.. this is for you people.=>
there are many loopholes around here; 10/23/2003 04:15:00 PM
you once looked at me.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/23/2003 04:14:00 PM
Wednesday, October 22, 2003
I get a funny feeling,
there are many loopholes around here; 10/22/2003 11:36:00 AM
great.. now im at home rotting.. fun what.. i mean.. what can i do other than sleep and go online? totally boring k... MC till thursdae.. that means i cant go to skl tomoro too=| but nvm.. i shall go to e doctor later to beg for a 1 dae MC..=) but i doubt he will give me.. must be the panadols =| sigh.. nvm.. dad told me not to go for trng tomoro.. sigh.. don care la.. he sae that e flu will lead to heart arrest if i exercise 2 much.. something like that la.. but dont care lor.. bad headache now.. have dental-appointment later.. still have to go for tuition!.. to do what lor.. spread sars ar.. hahaha.. nvm.. bored bored now.. falling into depression.. but kinda lunatic now leh.. hahaa... i miss school=) haha.. 1 dae onli=) muahahaha...
there are many loopholes around here; 10/22/2003 11:20:00 AM
Sunday, October 19, 2003
This feeling is sadness,
there are many loopholes around here; 10/19/2003 09:46:00 PM
er.. evelyn,pearlyn,june,ethel,yilin and sandra came to my hse todae=) hehx.. ethel,yilin and sandra are still here.. yups.. watched anger management,darkness falls, i spy and johnny english.. yup.. all are quite lame lor.. and darknes falls is not scary at all k.. yup... my sister is irritating us... she refuses to study! yup.. nvm. dont have the mood at all.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/19/2003 09:22:00 PM
Thursday, October 16, 2003
erm.. after skl was netball trng.. ya.. make up i think.. donno la.. kept hitting my chest nearer to the heart. ya. coz it hurts big time. went to the toilet to dehydrate for a while after changing. yup. begged delia to let me dehydrate. she gave me 10mins to do so.. enough what.. =| took more than that.. decided to run all out. but since ive decided to go for nb. i shld just go. didnt run in e end. nvm. i shall not eat only. im currently taking dinner only=) hehx. great. my blog is screwed.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/16/2003 09:27:00 PM
at e monet now..totally suck can.. like shit.! nvm.. was feeling sucidal yesterdae.. i hate myself! i hate myself for being unable to help people!damn! sighz... yesterdae was big boring day=| wow! some kind of post exam activity.. i think its just post exam torture k.. i was having damn great time lor.. urghh... started crying like nobodys business.. sighz.. nvm.. but yea.. rwally want to thank clarice and riana jie for consoling me? haha.. i dont know.. anw..todae had some soc game. ITS ALL MY FCUKING FAULT! it was because of smart fcuking fault which made p lost! its my freaking fault! damn la.. nvm.. hansvision totally suck k.. not as if we totally dont know how to use k.. WE FCUK HELL KNOW HOW TO USE IT! damn.. nvm.. bye.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/16/2003 11:47:00 AM
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
monday
there are many loopholes around here; 10/14/2003 09:04:00 PM
Saturday, October 11, 2003
My cheeks are red
there are many loopholes around here; 10/11/2003 11:29:00 PM
slept till 1021 todae.. woke up to watch e last few minutes of e POWERPUFF GIRLS=) hehx.. erm.. mood was siao todae.. sis practically pissed me of todae.. took out my fbt once i reached heeren..erm.. arnd 12 something la. coz fbt was making me feel funny.. so decided to wear the skirt alone=) *grinz* walked arnd heeren and cine.. felt as if i was walking arnd a dead town.. so empty k.. empty till u can do 10 somersaults in a row =|.. muahahaha.. piano had new teacher.. lyk eeeeuuu k.. yuckx... dont lyk.. im very fussy when it comes to getting a PERFECT piano teacher =p.. maebe i should take guitar lessons instead.. muahahaha... after piano.. went to kino.. sis bought me a new transparent CHIO penknife.. told her i have ler.. but i dont mind having another 1=) then bought my 3rd x clamp bk=) no $$ ler.. HAIZ!er.. was at B1 taka.. waited at the clown there coz i wanted a pig balloon.. so sis had no choice but to take advantage of her littleness 2 help me get one=) muahaha.. im so mean.. i bet she cant stand me.. hehx.. and coz of that i gotta but her ice cream frm heeren 5th level=) e crepes and cream store=) yuppies.. i was broker k.. 2 nice what.. then walked arnd cine.. baq to heeren then to taka to wisma to bus stand.. i got 3 blue balloons on the wae=) met sir at bus stop.. scary k.. err.....kks.. whatever.. bad-mooding now.. shit!. tataz.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/11/2003 07:51:00 PM
Friday, October 10, 2003
erm.. feeling blardie cold and gulity now.. she never reply me.. i think she is angry k.. sighz.. mq's hse chao ji nice k.. i love=) shall stay over somedae.. her sister damn cute + irritating.. haha.. ok.. think its just me.. yh todae mood swing very fast can.. from noisy to quiet to super noisy.. haha.. big problem..kks.. want 2 slp ler.. nitez.
there are many loopholes around here; 10/10/2003 11:31:00 PM
erm..art was rushing time..was rushing to finish everything..didnt write over e lines for e stupid ugly looking grapefruit.. chao ji irritated with myself.. after skl 2s2 were playing the amazing race.. darn funny.. hehx.. den talk talk.. feel bad bad.. then go town.....ALONE..meet up with my mum.. den bought chocolate 4 mq.. went 2 meet yh & hw..yap.. walked arnd heeren.. took neoprints with lou & jy.. i was chao ji blur k.. haha.. nvm.. those 2 idiots owe me neoprints =).. muahahaha...den went back to cine after zouzou~ing at heeren.. e 2s2 amazing race ppl were panting lyk donno what lor.. they run from city hall to donno where to heeren and donno where ler.. ya.. damn funnie.. gonna go zoo 4 delia's sake =).. hehx.. whatever.. sighz.. then.. erm.. went 2 cine.. zouzou again.. was helping hw find present..=D.. haha.. den went to taka mos burger.. er.. was ordering this large drink then hw said something.. after that i suddenly said my cup very big leh.." haha.. hw was laughing k.. donno what she talking then she ask me whether i understand anot.. then i said yes.. den she ask again.. then i said yes again.. haha.. went we sit hor.. hw. told yh lor.. then i still bu zhi dao they talk she me.. then i tu ran noe what they laughing bout lor.. er they were laughing at e "my cup very big " sentence lor.. haha.. wth lor.. my boobs so big leh.. hahaha... kks.. whatever.. played truth or dare.. laughed till tu zi tong.. yh got hooked onto MY hp.. ya.. hahaha.. anw.. came home with yh.. yh smartly missed her 156 bus coz she was hooked.. yup.. so i gotta wait with her den can go home.. muahaha.. im so nice k.. hehx.. anw.. gg to mq's house-warming le.. tataz..
there are many loopholes around here; 10/10/2003 06:20:00 PM
Thursday, October 09, 2003
your names are carved on me
there are many loopholes around here; 10/09/2003 06:54:00 PM
all the papers end todae except blardie art.. yup.. it has been sleeping at 2:30 - 3.. veh fun wad.. sighz.. it has been 4 in a row ler.. donno whether its gonna be 5. sighz.. what the hell.. i was like having exam-stress.. and now its after-exam stress.. irritating or what lorh=\.. haiz.. donno lah.. todaes dae is screwed. i think.. everydae is screwed! what to do.. my life is like that.. anw.. to go or not to go?! donno leh.. tuesdae gotta put on braces.. qi si wo=\ cannot eat ler=) finally.. so mondae shall eat when i can=) then i'll not eat unless i really shou bu liao=P
there are many loopholes around here; 10/09/2003 06:38:00 PM
Saturday, October 04, 2003
I live in a hole
there are many loopholes around here; 10/04/2003 10:50:00 PM
todae had paper.. practically screwed the whole thing.. my letter format was wrong.. very wrong.. compo wrote out of point.. smart rite.. damn screwed now.. sighz.. lit was shit.. brain was like empty.. onlie have stars and *yawn.. yup.. cant concentrate.. cos i nv eat? no la.. i did eat lorhz... fine la.. ate then vomit.. haiz.. yesterdae was screwed.. had gastric+headache..cant concentrate in class.. english was in monet.. recess was pei~ing liyana in monet for a while.. yup.. after school.. tried thinking bout other stuff.. cos i totally have no appetite.. day b4 kept vomitting.. 1 slice of bread and apple only k.. haiz.. then at arnd 2 something mommy wanted to pass me e letter.. but didnt in e end=|.. paid so much for my food k [thankew mommy].. and i didnt finished it [sorry]=| felt so guilty.. and i made her wait for more than 1/2 an hour to finish my food [sorrysorry].. coz i seriously cant swallow it [sorry] =| but it was damn funny.. yup.. the aeroplane part=) haiz.. went home started vomitting.. little came out.. was glad=).. cos its not alot.. kept my promise=) i ate=) 1 bowl of rice=) with no ingredient.. cos i was alone at home with rice only [dui bu qi].. then vomitted again.. alot.. yup.. haix... didnt mean it.. wasnt by force..honest =|.. think i made u pissed wif me=|.. really sorry.. i ate todae=) yup..
there are many loopholes around here; 10/04/2003 06:25:00 PM
Wednesday, October 01, 2003
was crying just now.. for about 2 and more hours.. was thinking why im lyk that.. was thinking of lots of stuff.. didnt go for tuition todae.. sighz.. spent my time sleeping and crying.. having headache now.. eye sore.. sighz..
there are many loopholes around here; 10/01/2003 08:49:00 PM
was thinking of lots of stuff. heard bout lots of stuff. knew about lots of stuff.
dont want to think about it. but i cant help it.
its just me. im at fault.
sorry.
want to cry that big rock out of me. want to cry it so badly.
lots of other rocks are being thrown in. adding weight and all.
feel like falling. already am.
cant pull myself back up. what can i do?
well.. officially giving up.
not lying this time.
give up every single thing
except 3 things.
-remaining silence
-mutilation
-crying.
sorry.
eh.. erm..
*may..*hwee boon..*yunheng..*ethel..*judy..*pam..*lee..*mom
for lending me a shoulder to cry on. yup.
and erm..
*kathryn..*nicole..*chloe..*shuwen..*zesa
for being there for me.
thanx and thanx everybody(: take care.
confession
im sorry. what ive done since morning was wrong. very wrong. now,i dont have the cheek to face you. look at you. talk to you. ive lost my hope. lost my everything. guess i loved you more than anything. not in whatever way u think it is. just love. the normal kind of love people have for friends.. tho i know it seemed almost impossible. but well.. yes.. i do. i just cant seem to accept the fact that you are transferring. i hope you're not toying with my feelings. ive got nothing to say. not as if i have the right to stop you. its not my choice. i cant bear to leave you. see you go. i cant seem to know how to let you go. but if you really need to. or want to. i wont stop you. but please.. promise me.. that you will be happy.. im willing to bleed to death.. just to make you happy.. see you happy.. im willing to bleed.. i promise.
the tears i see in your eyes. shows the pain in you.
i can feel it now. think im the one who caused the whole thing.
im sorry.
hope those tears will never appear.... again
i dont want to know that youre in pain.
i want to share your sorrow. but it seems like ive failed.
failed being there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.
just cant accept the fact.
all i can do is turn and walk away. and just end up crying on my way to hell.
i cant say i'll be there for you anymore cause i know you wont believe me.
but i want to. i really do.
i dont want to turn and walk away whenever i know youre in pain.
i dont want to not accept the fact that life is full of ups and down.
i dont want to see you in pain. i rather myself be in pain than you.
cause i love you. take care my dear.
Where faith and trust I do hold.
Love that will stand forever more.
That's what sisters were made for.
the love we share is still the best.
My sister I do love you true
My thoughts often travel back to you
october 16 2003
i acted as if im perfectly fine when im in front of you mom.
but im not. it hurts inside. deep down.
the fact that something might happen makes my heart ache big time.
should i let you go? im confused. very confused.
i know that crying doesnt help at all.
but i dont know. tears just rows down as and when they like.
why must everything be in this manner?
why cant i let you go? why do i love you this much?
i mean.. what is this shit? why must there be love?
why do we have so much questions in life?
why must i even be born here?
being born in this world is the biggest mistake.
i dont want to live anymore. im just a freaking idiot!
i should be destroyed immediately!
right after im being born! this world suck! i suck too!
why must a freaking idiot like me be in this world?
i want to die badly. but i know i cant.
i dont want to let go at all. its hard. it will hurt even more.
i dont want to feel the pain. i dont want to be hurt anymore.
im afraid of the pain im feeling.
now, theres nothing i can do other than giving up.
i give up
i dont want to try anymore.
i dont want to mutilate myself whenever my cuts are gone
or whenever i feel depress. but it seems like cuting is the only solution.
things kept floating in my mind. i dont know how to get rid of it.
i dont want to hide my feelings anymore.
i dont want to tell you that im ok whenever i know im not.
i dont want to lie to you anymore.
i just want to tell you.
i love you mommy. love you lee -hugs-
always remember that i'll be here for u always k.. i promise
october 17 2003
whenever we see each other.
we'll just turn away. why must it be like that?
why?im afraid to share my problems with you now
cause i think im a burden to you
i dont want to hurt you. really.
but everytime i see you feeling depress.
it really makes my heart ache alot.
i want to be there for you. but how?
it seemed almost impossible to do so.
why? i dont know what to do. im confused again. why?
can you tell me?
i promise i'll be there whenever you need me..=)
love you jie
i'll keep waiting till that day when you come back on home to me. life's too short to live without you where you are is where i wanna be.
sighz.. dont go..
once smiled at me.
once laughed with me.
but now.. everything is just a past.
as if its just a dream.
cos now.. it looks like i dont exist.
its like im invisible.
no one knows that i was once there.
it hurt me so deep inside.
to know that i can do nothing to change the fact that i wasnt there.
i give up.
It comes from deep inside.
I get all mad and angry,
Wanting to go and hide.
My doctor calls it depression,
My dad says it's just me.
But the thoughts and feelings,
No one will ever be able to see.
Some say I'm psycho,
Some say I'm just weird.
It's like I'm a different person,
And the old me just disappeared.
I get really edgy,
I want to commit suicide real bad.
Then I get a headache,
Followed by feeling sad.
I wish I could get help,
I wish it would go away.
Maybe if I keep praying real hard,
It will some day.
This feeling is pain.
This feeling gets harder
To try and make go away.
One minute I'm happy,
Another I'm sad.
No one understands me
They just brush it off and laugh.
When I wake, I don't want to move;
The pain and sadness runs to deep.
I lay every night and cry myself to sleep.
One day this pain might end
But till that day, my sorrow will extend.
just now's entry
I looked at her with tears in my eyes,
Can't she see the pain inside.
The tears keep on flowing,
But I must keep on going.
I wipe away the tears
But I cannot wipe away the pain.
yesterdae's entry
hahaha.. yilin,heitung,kelly and lyanne are at my house now=) muahahaa.. todae.. woke up with a big fat headache thanx to 2 panadol=) over dose i think=| hehx.. didnt go for both trng=| haix.. anw.. skipped piano went to meet ethel,yilin and sandra. yuppers. hehx.. took a taxi to rg.. to attend the prom.. guess what!! THE BLARDIE SECURITY WONT LET ME IN AGAIN!! whatever lor... go to yilin's blog she complained what i feel like complaning=) hehx... kks..
when to the zoo yesterdae.. had hell load of fun=) yup.. haha.. we were kinda lost after we got e 1st clue but we kinda caught up=) muahahha.. from 4th to the 2nd=) muahaha.. took donno how long to clear the flours on my shirt... yup.. coz it was with water.. was damn cool.. then went town took neos.. went to topshop tried to damn chio short skirt yup.. 63 buckx leh.. damn ex.. and damn chio.. yup..
todae was tiring lor pls.. went for trng.. trng was like so fun what.. sheesh.. then.. went to town to meet deb and gwen.. pearlyn came along too.. took neoprint.. then went tomos burger.. er.. then deb,gwen and yilin left.. then me and ethel walked arnd wisma till 4 something.. yup.. kk.. end here=)
And my eyes are too
My eyes show through
My lips are dry
My breathing not quite right
I just began to cry
My nose starts to run
I start coughing too
This is no fun
For I feel blue
I look a sight
Because I had to cry
as usual im thinking again.. why? why must i thinkthis wae? why cant i think lyk what normal people do?? why must things happen this wae? why must i cry when i see those words.. why must people care for me? im not worth it at all.. im so used to being alone.. you know.. ALONE!.. ive been alone everywhere...
I'm not ok
This is how I live each day
Like I've been ripped apart
By a shot to my heart
My enemies smile smugly
Because I constantly feel ugly
Everyday the pain I'm reliving
Makes me wonder is life worth living
Don't ask me how I am today
I'm not ok
A scary black hole
It's just deep, dead and cold
It's just me and my soul
I cry out for help
No one can hear
I try and get out alone
I come so very near
Everytime I fall
More pain arrives
I need help to get out
Listen out for my cries
Reach the top, I want to
Fall again, I don't
Smile again, I've got to
Cry again, I won't
Please do not be angry
I do not fall on purpose
Just hold my hand and help me
Alone I'm purely hopeless
mommy i really want to thank you for everything=) but im still confused.. as usual.. the same question in my mind.. let me be k? pls..
hey..are you ok? seem like we have drifted far far apart.. donno whats wrong..maebe its just me.. yup.. maybe.. i'm sorry if ive hurt you jie.. so sorry.. really=)
ahh.. riana xiao jiejie.. you notty notty abandoned me=|.. sighz..
see.. think its me again.. as usual.. it has always been my fault.. parents blamed me todae.. for everything..=| damn.. im screwed..