Saturday, January 31, 2004
oh ya. saw shh in twn today. chao shuai.(:
there are many loopholes around here; 1/31/2004 11:17:00 PM
there are many loopholes around here; 1/31/2004 09:28:00 PM
Friday, January 30, 2004
im perfectly fine(: yea. 38.2 degrees(: yeA. sigh. dads home. mum is at borders. sigh. tomoro have trng. gotta train hard. sigh.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/30/2004 09:40:00 PM
erm. ya.ya.ya anw anw anw.geog was being guai time. chinese was talking to evelyn. ya. erm. ate in class too. then erm. had maths test. quite ok la. ya.then com study was acting as if i finished my work. tsktsk. then ya english was presentation. then ya. meet up in the toilet. went for lunch then ya. took bus to clementi then train to boon lay happily took 30mins+ ride from boon lay to home. erm. bus 154 i think. tot i was lost. fell alseep in the bus. ya. took like 30++ mins to walk home. 3 times of my usual timing. ok. whatever. came home. everybody went out to watch a movie. dad happily call back to ask where mum. told him that she is with you dont be lame. ya. then he ask me if i want to go? like excuse me. im at home youre in town and you want to bring me to town when the show is going to start. lame lorh. sigh. anw. sarina! i want her no(: hah. yea. sigh.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/30/2004 08:08:00 PM
hello.. this is judy.. haha.. im hacking shuping's blog(:
there are many loopholes around here; 1/30/2004 12:05:00 PM
hah. having cs now. competition later. not fair k. sarina and judy know the bungs eh. not fair! hah. anw.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/30/2004 12:04:00 PM
Thursday, January 29, 2004
ahh.. cant stand it... new phone 2300 so chio eh. keypad can mix and match colours de. not out yet. and its not coloured phone eh. urgh. ahh.. but i dont care. so chio(: yes. and today i saw hot pink+baby pink beabs so chio eh. i wanted to take pic eh. but no cam=\. sigh. hah. and this 2 stc bungs so shuai(: hmm.. maybe only 1 ok. nvm. what am i thinking. hah. sigh. totally bad-mooding now. thanx to that asshole at home. whole life picking fight with me de. fuck. shit la. so much vulgarities! shall control. urghh..sigh..anw.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/29/2004 09:50:00 PM
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
hmm.. pictures uploaded slept like 2++ last nite. a total of 5++ hrs to upload like 70+ pictures.=
there are many loopholes around here; 1/28/2004 10:00:00 PM
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
erm.. tournament cancelled yea. will be postponned=\ yup.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/27/2004 09:04:00 PM
Monday, January 26, 2004
sigh. what am i doing. so much vulgar words=\ yucks. sigh. today had school like duh. er. rushed tru my art in class totally crap eh i tell you. did it during science and geog too. have test coming and im doing it. haiyo,been distracted this few weeks. ok. crap. anw. art. susan say can hand in tomoro like what the beep. last week she say she will give dp. totally beep k. and it was so unfair too. ok. nvm. at least she promised us something. yea. think she mistaken our class for another class eh. cos she say that we were very quiet during science at science lab when she see us? like huh? we are always noisy lorh pls. sigh. then had chinese. wrote letters during class hah. have test this thursday k=\ sigh. then had pbl kept passing letters arnd. hah.after that cabbed to queensway. bought fbts for team. bargained. er. ya. then cabbed back to school. teamtalk was screwed yup. er. then ya. trng was screwed cos all of us are like nervous? eh. i donno la. tomoro tournament.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/26/2004 08:15:00 PM
Sunday, January 25, 2004
bitch. say what you want then. fine larh.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/25/2004 10:27:00 PM
sigh.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/25/2004 02:53:00 AM
hah. think im crazy eh. painting my nails with donno what kind of a colour. white black yellow. hah. and im burning candle. drinking wine. and listening to christmas song?! ahha.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/25/2004 02:45:00 AM
argh.. nothing nice on 98.7 fm=\ boring.. urgh.. praticall bored to death!!!
there are many loopholes around here; 1/25/2004 02:09:00 AM
damn lah. hah. going to mum's office at bout 9+ then visiting grand aunts. and im not sleeping now? haha.. so cool eh. planning to redo art=\ sigh. nvm. im listening to some cny song now. not noisy what. haha. eh. i think lynette is quite chio eh. as in chua. yea(:
there are many loopholes around here; 1/25/2004 01:57:00 AM
Saturday, January 24, 2004
there are many loopholes around here; 1/24/2004 09:53:00 PM
sigh. just go back(: i need to do freaking art eh. sigh. havent even started on it yet. sigh. hmm.. at the "reunion" hse had lots of fireworks. ex eh.. haha.. abt 200++ sing $$ hah. sigh. dont even have the mood to go back to sing le. sigh. eh. i watched lots of disney shows eh(: lalala.. and ppg too(: hah.. i watched lilo and stitch like 10+ times le. cos tv have and my auntie brought the vcd.. yea(: haha. sigh.sigh.sigh. mite be staying there till 1 mth+ dad say depends. sigh. that is so bad news eh.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/24/2004 09:49:00 PM
Monday, January 19, 2004
sigh. going off to m'asia tomoro afternoon?. totally sickening. not looking forward at all.. i rather stay in sing k. i dont like the people there. sigh. 2 hours trip there. sigh. totally having headache now. fcuking collage totally not done yet. sigh. bad day for me=\ anw.. yea. was early today. had lessons eh. yup. nat knows who her angel is le. hah. lame. hmm.. then art sucks. yup. i wanted to pon chinese but didnt in the end. then pbl. wanted to train but started raining. so went town with su hong. went to get mum's rubbish. then ate. spent like freaking 6 bucks?! totally cheating my money. sigh. den walked to heeren. rained. ran to cine took neos. back to heeren. bought sweets and umbrella?! hah. then yea. went to far east to get yuani's prezzie(: yup. figured out that they hav nicer 1s there(: yup. hmm.. took 700 home. crowded like nothing. anw it was the wrong bus. then dropped off at balmoral there. then took 170. totally. sigh. anw. yea. heavy rain. walked home. i caught a cold=-\
there are many loopholes around here; 1/19/2004 09:28:00 PM
there are many loopholes around here; 1/19/2004 08:30:00 AM
Sunday, January 18, 2004
sigh. burning candles in the toilet. my room smells of candles too(: parents think im siao. whole day burn candle de. hah. just found out that the jelly candles cannot burn de cause its unhealthy? sigh. anw. ya. went for dinner. then to my godgrandmama's wake. yup. met up with my aunties and uncles. yea. found out that 2 of my aunties are lecturers at nus. yea(: and my uncle is principle. hah. yup. then theres 1 is air stewardess for 11 years then she quit. now working at far east oraganisation. fareast level 1(: yea. shall go visit her(: shes so old eh.. 30++ le. havent get married yet. yup. shes still super chio. i thought she was 20++ de. hah. so blind of me. hmm.. started talking about the past. cried alittle. sigh.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/18/2004 10:27:00 PM
sigh. lala. little miss pms is blaming me for copying her belovered [her]s blog cause i added the stars thingy. fcuk. damn lah. very fun. sigh. i donno how to do art!sigh. just found out that i'll be missing trngs. =\ sigh. i dowan to go m'asia. it sucks! there for 5 days 5 nights will kill me! fcuk. no hp. no internet the whole week k. darn! and no time to do art!
there are many loopholes around here; 1/18/2004 02:36:00 PM
sigh. sis was being a freak eh.. sigh.. nvm.. i shall forgive her(: yup. cause she is pmsing. yea. sigh.. stuck at home with little miss pms and maid eh. nvm. shall do homework(: parents are at work. sis is swimming with her friends eh. sigh.OK. WHATEVER. IM PISSED OFF.. sigh...anw. todays rainbow day turns out to be a candle day. sigh. im light lighting up almost all the candles in my room. so nice. have smell too(: and that insence stick thingy. sigh. think im going to burn my room(:
there are many loopholes around here; 1/18/2004 11:21:00 AM
Saturday, January 17, 2004
there are many loopholes around here; 1/17/2004 07:32:00 PM
Friday, January 16, 2004
1 minute of silence
there are many loopholes around here; 1/16/2004 10:47:00 PM
eh., after cs. mr m didnt come. free period. spent time writing letter. and er.. thats all? haha. nvm. bee rang. started drawing the class? haha.. my heads are small eh. cant draw big de. sorry vice-chair(: hmm.. yup.we got our handbook? sigh. so much rubbish? hah. sigh. yup. stayed in class till 2++ realise i was late for pankhurst trng. so yup. nvm.cause was decorating class? sigh. nvm. then we had big problem. yea. yup. then discussed. then talk laughed. then started trng at bout 3++ yup. trng was great eh. yup. learned lots of stuff(: yup. tournament coming le. sigh. nvm. tomoro.. its yuani's birthday(: sigh. yup. after trng.. walked to bus stop. judy went home. then went back with yan ting. hah. was being chao lame. then she like laugh dowan laugh that kind. haha.. hmm.. yup. then uncle fetched me home after i alighted from bus(: yea.hmm.. am home now. shall think positive. this few days have been hell. its either donno what to say. daoed or walk away. sigh. bad attitude. i must change? sigh. going to malaysia next tuesday? sickening. every year must go de. they just never get enough of it. then coming back on sunday. sigh. missed 1 day of trng. shit. sigh. im feeling headache-ky.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/16/2004 07:40:00 PM
there are many loopholes around here; 1/16/2004 12:00:00 PM
sigh. having cs now. again. sigh.. hmm.. pass few days have been having "singing lessons" yup. sing and sing in class.. yup. sigh.. im bored eh.. having freaking headache and mouthache?! sigh.. braces changed le. on wed. yup. doc say gotta out 2 wires till after surgery which is like after june?! sigh. nvm. who would bother bout my life. sigh.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/16/2004 11:59:00 AM
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
[im just nothing to all of you.yucks* i shalldie since all wants me dead.yup. i totally agree.sigh. im not pain at all.. the sky is so black. sigh.]
there are many loopholes around here; 1/13/2004 11:31:00 PM
there are many loopholes around here; 1/13/2004 11:22:00 PM
hmm.. maybe this is life yup.let me tell you how great my day is(: yea. uhm.. maths in the morning. pe after that. didnt know have cramp. tot i had gastric only. happily stride 2 rounds canal(: had this freaking shit stomach pain. yea(: aint that cool. gastric + cramp. hah. yup. walk 5 steps den squat down le. im lousy! urgh. nvm. so ya. wanted to go to the toilet at canteen there but closed. so gotta walk all the way to the other toilet at the lab there=\ stupid k. sigh. drank 3 cups of hot and warm water yea(: thankx judy and sri. yup. love ya(: anw. ya. stayed there for more than 45 mins eh.. then yup. felt much better le. so walked up to class room. yup. woah. class was freaking quiet. miracle. yup. im like walking corpse. walk till can fall down de. hah. then went to the other toilet sit down there chatted. chat for quite long lah. yup. nvm. im bored le. hmm.. pain the whole day(: yea.then assembly. can sleep till my glasses have problem de. yup. den erm. slept in class till 230++ then wanted to go canteen but walked back to class in the end. then selection. den came home. yea(: nice day.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/13/2004 11:15:00 PM
Sunday, January 11, 2004
[think its time i should be left alone. so all this things wouldnt happen again. yup. get lost people. i had enough!]
there are many loopholes around here; 1/11/2004 08:21:00 PM
there are many loopholes around here; 1/11/2004 08:11:00 PM
sigh. this morning had bad dream. yup. nvm. went for breakfast. then to swim at dad's club. yup. swim bout 11++ water is cold like nothing. im like typical bimbo lorh. sigh. anw. ya. kept screaming. swim till can die le. then i started being lame. yup. then 12++ went in for sauna. had this sisters talk. yup. 1st time eh. all 3 of us. trapped in this super hot place talking. yup. hmm.. then went to the nursery. cause mum wanted to buy flower. big sis drove us there. i was laughing k. she drive too slow le. make me sleepy. took bout 1/2 hr to reach there. spent time there till 4++ i slept in the car the whole time(: yea. yup. came back from dinner. nothing to say. sigh.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/11/2004 08:05:00 PM
[my days end here. im speechless.till you care.]
there are many loopholes around here; 1/11/2004 12:47:00 AM
Saturday, January 10, 2004
there are many loopholes around here; 1/10/2004 11:54:00 PM
hmm.. lets talk about. yesterday? hmm. i donno. dont seem to have the mood cause my parents happily dont let me use the internet anymore. yup. anw.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/10/2004 11:47:00 PM
Friday, January 09, 2004
there are many loopholes around here; 1/09/2004 12:02:00 PM
hmm.. shit lah huh. having cs now. yup. didnt go for netball yesterday. feeling sick. yup. shervon our teacher. totally suck k. think she so chio. i think the pigs are chioer than her. shes totally shit=
there are many loopholes around here; 1/09/2004 11:51:00 AM
Tuesday, January 06, 2004
sigh.school.sleep.study.trng.20mins run.ball drills.game.went home alone.by myself. thankewthankew -claps*claps-
there are many loopholes around here; 1/06/2004 10:02:00 PM
there are many loopholes around here; 1/06/2004 10:02:00 PM
Monday, January 05, 2004
[eh] there are many loopholes around here; 1/05/2004 09:26:00 PM
hmm.. totally cant go see blog eh. keep coming back to blogger.=\ anw. ya. er..went to school today[like duh] yea. then yea. studied la. geog teacher is my sister's junior. totally sark. can die eh. having a teacher who knows your sister. its like you gotta be guai like nothing. or else the teacher complains! sarky eh. cghinese teacher. abit diao la. sigh. not paying attention again. totally. hmm.. then afterschool. discuss bout stuff. then had our mini self-trng[game] yea. its like lame. yea. nice larh. yeah(: hmm. guess thats all. yea. hmm,.. joanne knows about it. yeah(: joanne is smart(: lalala. there are many loopholes around here; 1/05/2004 08:35:00 PM
Saturday, January 03, 2004
hmm.. woke up late. found this lame thing. june was late meeting nicole i was late meeting them. hmm. lame eh.anw. trng at 10. talked to yinwai..yup. then i think theres this other rg girl xiuling. yup.its familiar but i dont remember. heard that shes scared of me and i know her? hah. anw. yup. shes cute. hmm.. then there is si jing. cute nanyang girl yup. think thats all larh. yeah(: didnt go for piano. erm. ya. anw. went to town with athiya june nicole and sandra. yup. ate at cine long john. that nicole and june arh.. tsktsk.. haha. keep slaping each other. haha. anw. then athiya left le. then we met her again. took neoprints at chio chio new machine. its so cool till 5 ppl gotta squeeze like nothing. you even got to end up sleeping on the floor. hah. hmm.. den went to heeren. went to buy sweets.. bought till $6.30 hah.. i think it was 500g++ haha. nice rite. eat till can get diabetes le. haha. then walked to taka. met denice and max. did survey felt lame eh. then walked to wisma station. took train to yishun then took bus home(: hah. i was sending june k. how nice(: moo haha. anw. didnt go for syeila's party. sigh. not my fault. now i gotta be home b4 5 on saturdays le. unless i have SPECIAL reasons. yup. dad says its important year. yup. i know it too. want to proof parents wrong. they kept thinking that i wont make it to sec 3. maybe will get kick out. sigh. sad eh. nvm. shall work hard(: winks-*
there are many loopholes around here; 1/03/2004 06:28:00 PM
Friday, January 02, 2004
er..moring was screwed.sis blew my temper.yup.bad larh. started the day like that=\ bet every morning is gonna be like that le=\ sigh. anw. ya. school teachers. terrible eh. yup. fell asleep in class for 1hr+? then walked arnd. kept wanting to go toilet. lala. yup. the sec1s are.. sigh. im speechless.anw. stayed back after school. yup. went home bout 4. started msging. yup. hmm.. fell asleep on the sofa. must be the dotdots. yup. ok. bye.
there are many loopholes around here; 1/02/2004 10:07:00 PM
im beginning to think that im forgetting something=\ not my home work eh. its screwed! ahh!
there are many loopholes around here; 1/02/2004 12:39:00 AM
Thursday, January 01, 2004
hapPy 2o04
there are many loopholes around here; 1/01/2004 08:24:00 PM
pics uploaded.
-titleless.
-neoprints 2004----->310104
anw. woke up with a temperature of 38.0(: it went down. anwanw.today had trng. was shocked eh. tot they changed trng time to 8. ya. but yea. stayed at study pavillion. was expecting to see suhong. but didnt see her. then wee lin and huifang came to get us. did 10mins run warm up.-wink*s*wink*s*wink*s*- hah. anw. ya. trained. was having a headache eh. but nvm. sigh. todays trng is not like trng at all. sigh. really gonna give up le. sigh. cause everybody looked discouraged le. as if they give up? just wanna say.. that
we shouldnt give up no matter what happens. dont care bout what they say bout hij. trust ourselves. break the history thingy like we said. yup. sigh.
anw. stayed in school for wuite a while. then went town with gen. watched stuck on you at gV yea. free tix mah. today expire. so treat gen. ya. nice show. does kind can make you cry dowan to cry de. yup.quite funny? aiya. alli can say is WATCH. ya. anw. took train to somerset. then walked arnd cine. to heeren. bought sweets. then this group of guys happily said something so irritating eh. think some rock hit their head. ya. they were like.
[[my friend want to know you then he was like pointing to the guy next to him.. and i was like genevieve it must be you. then the friend was like. no. you. yucks k. so maluating somemore. hah.they were like not shuai at all quite fat too.. although that guy who his friend pointed at is quite shuai and perfect?(: hah. yea. but i gave them the -**excuse me are you sick look**-]]
hah. like hello. you must be crazy to want to know me of all the other chio bus in town yucks-. sigh. nvm. anw.....
went back to cine. met up with sis then took neos. chio machine eh. yea(:anw.walked back to heeren. walked arnd then rotted at the sit outside some urban man shop? i donno. stoned for quite a while. then sis happily think of some crappy version of heartattack. ya. then i tot it was some heartattack move then i started acting as if i really had heartattack. everybody was staring at me. k. turned out to be some sissors paper stone game. hah. played for quite sometime. actually rotted there from 5++ to 6++ just buy sitting stoning. playing. at the exact same spot. hah. then ya. went top plaza to take bus home cause parents happily change mind say dowan to fetch us. anw. the crowd to centre point was like wtf. ya. it was human jam k. jam till cannot jam le. i kept tsking and cursing? tell you ah. if i werent in school U. i would have long gone scolded the blardie plice people for not directing the people the right way. f. anw. walke arnd plaza sing. then went to eat cause sis was like what. hungry. yea. then ya. was in bus. at 7++ late eh=\ then. ya. slept in the bus. then sis happily forgot where to stop. told her to press the bell after some blardie stop. she happily go stop at thaT stop. still got off the bus? i got to like tell her wrong stop. sigh. nvm. things still isnt going well.
why are you involving yourself.?! why do you keep thinking im that kind?!
[andmustyoupopoutandmakemecry?haventyoucauseenough.
arentyouhappyforwhatyouhavecausemetofeel?sigh.]
[if only i know who/what you really are. youre just so shuai-winks-]
[things isntgoingright.whitehair.cuthair.shavehair.okjustkiddingk.noshaving=\ sigh. sighing.crying.laughing.joking.hiding.sigh.hidingbehindthemask.thinking.dreaming.flying.
jumping.yup.jumpingdownthebuilding.idonowhatshesaycauseiwanttohearitfromyou.ifyoudonthateme. tellme.orelse.forgetit.sigh.whatamisupposetodo?majorityofthedaysislike _______ sigh.2/3ofmydaysarespentshuttingup.sigh.lotsofthings.sigh.regrets.sigh.pain.sigh.
depression.sigh.deadme.medead.sigh.jumpoutwindow.windowjumpout.outjumpwindow.
sigh.whatamidoing.sigh.cutyesno.nocutyes.yesnocut.noyescut.sigh.]
uhoh. shuping is just next to me=)
i cut my own hair yesterday!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahhhhh!! i am so gonna go find my hairdresser after the tournament. i want my hair back. my fringe is like above my upper lips le. it was at my lower lips there lorh. now.. SIGH! annoyingly annoying. hah. judy dared me to tie 2 just now. yup. and i did(: for a while. hah. im like suppose to tie it again. and a bit wider. its lame eh. hah. i got a tattooe hand(: wahahaha. need to wash it off like asap?! hah. ok. stc match. nervous eh. my tummy has lots of frogs jumping arnd le. yucks-* sigh. kk.. gtg le. lala.
anw.no mass run.had cheer.=\hah.poor laura eh.shout so much.hah.hope shes fine(: yea.then had pe.it was running arnd finding mr loh.yea. then had to say sorry to nina cause i cant run? hah. lame eh. yup.cant run cross country le.all of us are like rear runners.so cool eh.first time.and we're all planning to walk.hah.anw.had chinese test.practically screwed it up.as in seriously screwed it up.i totally didnt finsh the last section and first three.in other words. the whole paper accept section 4. like wtf.sigh. i donno a single thing in section 1,2,3 lorh. fcuk.sigh.think im gonna get like 10+20+ sigh. anw.had lit.it was sleeping time(: yea.after acting la.hah.miss goh just love our class..lala.so ego.then had recess.i ate not slow what.hah.home ec was pizza.mine was nice(:it was so thin till it became biskit. hah. and my ingredient and the H A R D bread can detached de. anw. went to toilet during lesson. towards the end la. ended up letting eunice buff my nails at the stairs there. hah. im such a bimbo. then had cme. i ponned like 10+ mins then got out of class at 1250. hah. not early what. mr hop was pmsing anw. was trying to get out of the pms situation. hah. erm. had lunch. went on the bus. got off again. ran arnd like mad person. then back to bus. empty handed. lame eh. hah. erm. reached there. mr loh told us to study for 1/2 hr. hah. so cute. we go there study de. hah. then. some went in the rain to shoot. ya. then i fell a sleep(: but people disturbed me. keep wetting M Y space k. hah. how to slp eh. hah. then trained. think miss toh was bad-mooding. nvm. had game with queensway. WE WON! hah. but sigh. screwed up the 1st 3 quarters. WE MUST IMPROVE(: lala. last quarter was cool eh. from 12 jump to 23 so cool(: yea. then dismissed le. did shooting. then missed 5 96 buses. decided to walk out. then took 33 to redhill. talked to krys and delia for awhile. then dad fetched me. cos he was in school having meeting?hah. nvm.
match with stc tomoro.hah.quite nervous eh. hah.WE CAN WIN THEM DE(: yea.lots of confidence. but not that much la. cause that gal is centre(:i dowan be centre tomoro. eee.. i sure freak out de. yucks- hah. ok. nvm. i must concentrate
-breathe in and out slowly(:-*
pictures--> pic 18 onwards i think.
neoprints 2003
neoprints 2004
25.01.04
27.01.04
ya(:
anw. was sleepy today. slept during english and lit. not the whole lesson lah. yea. didnt go for maths after school=\ talked to qixin till 3++ maine pulled me away. talked at mtl room at temp block with clarice i think. then clarice left le. left with me and maine inside. hah. God knows what we did inside. hah. jk. anw. erm. went for trng. slacked during warm-up? people tired eh. then went to find key to the netballs. yea. lame la. anw. trained till 6. did 10mins run cool down.stretching. then dad came to fetch me for tuition. yea(: my comp is faster now(: 20++ mins to upload 30++ pictures(: yea.
anw. mum read the letter somebody wrote like L A S T year. like how dead am i going to be? hah. nvm. shall pray she dont check(: yea.
2 weeks. yup. 4 matches in total. tuesday and thursdays. must come k.
sigh. k. thats all.
[sigh. that was all i am to you. // heartbreaker -sticks out the last finger*]
im a fucking liar . yea. im a fucking attention seeker. and i totally suck!
now youre happy?! i mean thats all you ever do what. rite? change target. get almost everybody you know in crez to go out with you. practically treating them as a sub. i mean youre oh so great what. what can i do rite?! but let me tell you something. a piece of bad news!
i dont fucking hell love ber! get your fucking facts right!
yea. turn straight all right. getting people to go out with you is turning straight what. what fuck lie. sigh. i dont even know what your freaking plan is. betyoure gonna tell them the spare tire E X C U S E right?!
sigh. freaking disappointedin you man. totally didnt know what had happened to you. NO! maybe its the R E A L you!
track--->somebody--->[her]------->[sigh]------>[headache]
look at the train eh. sigh.
if i didnt join track all this things wouldnt have happen.
my decisions killed me. sigh.
[things just happened.im still holding back my tears.im sorry its my fault.]
[was it true when you said you'll make me happy? was it true when you said that you'll make my life better? well now i think youre just hurting me instead. do you know how hurt i am? sigh. im sorry bout what i said yesterday. but i wont take back some of what i said. i cant believe my friends were right about it. well.. yea. they are right. its like they can tell the future or something. you make it true.]
hmm.. came home like before 7. anw. er.. ya. this morning. woke my dad up. then ya. got ready to go for trng. yup. found a frog in my shoes touched it too.. started crying when dad told me it was frog. at first i thought it was lizard de eh.. blackblack bigbig de. sigh. the thought of it makes me wanna puke. sigh. totally grossed out. rushed to school. met hweeboon. yup. hmm.. trng. er.. ps.gc.and ms trained us. yea. nice eh(: totally blured(: yea. hmm.. did ball drills. then did this thingy before going for break. yup. then had lots of forfeits. fun eh(: yup. some are ps think de. most of the siaosiao tiringtirng de is ms think de. yea. then before game. danced the chicken dance(: yea. the netball dance was.. haha.. aiyo. headache. haha.. yup. then played game. fun de(: then trng ended le eh. yup. hmm.. had little talk after changing out. they treated us to ice tea(: hmm.. thanx eh.yea. then went town with
delia.krystle.genevieve.suhong.weelin.may.hannah.
went to get my rubber band at heeren with delia suhong genevieve and weelin. yea. then went to cine to meet the rest(: . yup. SIGH. dowan to say le eh.. hmm.. then the 3 of them came le. didnt treat them in the end. sigh. nvm. we'll treat next time(: yea. anw.. yea. after eating went to take neos. then ly came. wahhha.. we were all trying to squeeze into the machine eh. so big. space so small.. print so little. sigh. gonggong machine de. but yea. nvm. fun de eh(: yea. then yup they 4 gotta go for trng? yup. so they went off 1st. then we went to get tix for cheaper by a dozen. yep. only me suhong and genevieve watching. yup. hmm.. then went over to heeren. met yuani. wished her happy birthday. yup. then evelyn called. said goon in town. on the way to either cine or heeren. we all scramed to the toilet eh. yup. stayed there for quite sometime then decided to just be guai then go over to cine to hide in the teatre. yup. so didnt got caught in the end(: yea. then came home eh. having reunion dinner at my house.they all going to play mahjong(: i want yea. hehx. maybe we go play bingo. kk.. gtg bathe le. toodles.
<why must good things come to an end?hah. you all rawk(:>
[
sigh. i feel like crying so much. no its cant stop crying. sigh.
my godgrandma passed away le. sigh..
today is her wake and mum dont let me go cause its not on the way.
i didnt even get to see her one last look.
i regret for not seeing her last year.
sigh.. things are happening.problems are accumilating.
sigh.. i love you [gan mama.]
]
[sigh. doin it again and again. its like a daily routine. eating it like almost everyday. every part of me hurts.not cause of what that has been happening. maybe part of it. maybe the whole lot of it. but i still cant believe that is what she thought of me. sigh. bottling up is like my routine now. sigh. whatever lah. sigh.i feel so restricted of words all the time. no free space at all. sigh. im like a walking corpse this few days. talking lesser. shutting more. smiling. thats the mask. not smiling. thats behind the mask. sigh. if only you people ever understand how i feel sigh.
[idonnowhatswrong.lotsofproblems.nicewhat.yup.saythingswhichyoudidntknowithurtme
somuch.nvm.i understand. its all my freakingfault.everythingstartedwithme.yup.
isntthatwhatyouretryingtosay?sigh.idonnowhattodole.imevenmoreconfusedmorepain
thanever.butnevermind.imfine.yup.perfectlyfine(:yup.ilovemymealtoday.yup.2panadols
1bowlofsoup(:yea.yup.areyouhappy?haha.sigh.hmm..icanjustbottleupmyfeelingscause
thatsallyoubotherright?tellingmetotellmyproblemstothewallright?!itotallyunderstand.sigh]
[ its freaking stupid of me to think that you people could be trusted. get out ]
[[notyoudontknowhowto.itsyoudontwantto.]]
[remembering the things you used to say]
[give me plaster!!]
[yesterday.
isattherecrying.tryingtocontrolmytearsashardasicould.
butitwasworse.i failedtodoso.
walkedaround.searchingforahugtoconsoleme.searchingforanyonetobethereforme.
butpeoplearejustbusy.didntwanttodisturbthem.
foundmyself.andnothingaroundme.criedmore.
thensomeoneelsecried.decidedtostop.causeiwasaburden.
sothereiam.alone.yup.]
[today.
iwasthere.aloneagain.heldbackmytearsforthepastfewhours.
brokedowninthedark.
itjustkeptflowing.noonecouldstopit.
calledafriend.stoppedtohearhervoice.causeiwantedtostop.
but.
thephonewasdown.thetearsweretoo.
sigh.ifonly.yup.ifonly]
[onesaw.theothercouldntbebothered.everythingstartedcauseofme.
itstimeigetout.getoutofthisworld.stopbeingaburdentoeveryone.
itstimeileavethingsaside.tojustcontinuewithmyownlife.ormaybejustendit.
ifonlyicouldturnbackthetime. ifonlyicouldundonethedone. ifonly]
thursday
erm.. went to school.like duh la. ya. er...hmm.. let see what happened.. oh.. studied. ya.it was tuesday timetable. totally=\. yup. had science. chinese?hah. i donno. hmm. maths? ya. i think. erm. what else arh. oh dear la. totally dont remember. nvm. anw. ya. had lessons lah. then had assembly. it was this dedication ceromy thing. fell asleep the whole thing. as in the whole thing. sigh. then. ya. when were suppose to say the pledge thingy then i wake up. played a fool. felt guilty. was having headache. so didnt go for trng yup. hmm. ya. came home. ya. fell asleep till 7++ yup. had flu in the end. yup
yesterday
erm.. school.. studied. slept. played. talked. cried. erm. ya. after school had trng. but i walked arnd like nothing. sis scolded me like nothing. obviously feel like crying rite. cause. yup. she happily scold me for no reason. in the end. she gotta say sorry to me. donno why. hmm.. went to milu's hse for a while. rushed back to school. just in time for trng(: yup. hmm.. 10mins run. then had trng with miss tho? i donno how to spell hehx. but yea. it was fun(: yup. hmm.. then bathed after trng(: eh. quite fast leh. less than usual. much faster lah. normally take abt 1/2 hr de.. hehe. then went to mobil. ate little bit. then went back to school for campfire. hmm.. quite all right la. yup. hmm. then er.. ya.. walked rounds around the whole parade square. 3 times myself. then with suhong twice i think. yup. then walked arnd 5 times looking for liyana. found her in canteen. nvm. decided not to find her? i donno why eh. started tearing. then walked arnd again. wanted to find lee or hb. but sigh. nvm. sat at judy there. cried for not quite long i think. ethel came. thanx ethel(: yup. but yea. im fine. i think. went to find hb. then qx. then krys. then lee. found her le. but nvm. im thin air to some other ppl. she knows. but. yea. sigh. kept crying. tears came down like nothing. not my fault i cant control them. sigh.then yea. went home. cried somemore. slept early.erm.. about 2+ ya.
today
erm. woke up late. about 9++ yup. didnt go for trng. sigh. hmm.. then rushed for piano at 12+. yup. then walked arnd taka. went to school. it was some cca thing. sigh. yup. just walked arnd and helped out. yup. nvm la. but in the end didnt. went back to town walked round far east. then went home. yup. nothing much eh. yup. hmm.. yup. same thing happened lah. dont ask le.='| hmm.. came home 1hr late. grounding on saturdays. extended. sigh. + tomorrow.unless im with parents. shit.
[adayofbeingdepressed.extends.
sigh.needtotalktosomeone.
someonewhomidontmindsharingwith.
but.sigh.itsimpossible.nothingispossible.tome.
thatswhynothingisadreamcometrue.sigh]
[if only i could turn back time.]
ifonlywhatididwastherightthing.ifonly.sigh.
[it was a dream come true but i rejected it with a white lie.]
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
[CHORUS]
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
[CHORUS]
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
And wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
[CHORUS]
[[.uoy evol .yrros mi .no uoy dael ot tnaw tnod i .daor thgiarts etelpmoc a htiw 1 eht ot og .[su]koot uoy sdaor htob eht erofeb thgir eno eht ot og .em erofeb morf emac uoy daor taht ton.morf emac uoy erehw morf kcab klaw .yllaer .semoc reve yad taht fi uoy truh ot tnaw tnod i .kcab klaw .lrig kcab klaw .el daor ym ni eruoy won .dnatsrednu uoy epoh i .eromyna no uoy dael annaw tnod]]
[see]
[[?yas nac uoy lla siht si .dias evah uoy seil siht era .tsom eht uoy dedeen i nehw peelsa gnillaf tpek uoytub dnik taht ton eruoy eveileb i .debircsid retsis ruoy tahw morf tnereffid os dednuos uoy]]
finally? hmm.. shall be nice. dont write that le. yeah.
hmm.. great day? nope. great year ahead? no. yup. hmm.. yesterday. went to watch good boy. thought it was a lame show. quite funny tho. yup. very cute(: lala.. habo.. the cutest doggie(: ting* anw. show ended bout 840+ yup. then went to find dad. walked over to heeren. 37 degrees closed. hmm.. ate at chatter box. ex like nothing. almost died eh.. mum complained bout the food. reached home at 11+ countdown show thingy just started. watched it eh. quite sianified=\ diao. anw. ya. watched tv till the ountdown lorh. suai like nothing. starhub card wouldnt work. singtel card wouldnt let me msg out. so ya. decided to give up. didnt send anything. dad scolded me eh.. yup.. i started crying. on new years day. yup. very lucky what. i give up le eh.. this year. i really give up le=\ sigh. anw. ya.. dad said if i dont finish work by today he will break my legs. so ya. i hapily go drink the dragon tea from china. those cannot drink at night or you cannot slp de. yup. didnt sleep the whole blardie nite=\ i drank 3 flasks of it! and i was hungry like nothing.. had gastric. ting* yup. erm.. went to pray grandpa today. its his anniversary. isnt it swet eh.. haha. yup. then went to eat duck rice. went to jurong point. got my bag. its ugly!hehx. but ya. sigh. so yup. im home. and tired. and i just woke up from a 3 hrs nap(: